2015. I’m not where to categorize you in the 30 years God’s carried me through. It’s been a prayer journey in which I’ve just been filled with such feeling of guidance, been thrown insane curve balls and been whirled around to find myself in the same place. As we’re at Thanksgiving and siblings are coming into town to be together over this blustery autumn holiday my minds brought back in a flash to a conversation my twin and I had in the kitchen about our 19th birthday. She asked me where I thought we’d be 5 years from now. I peered into the fridge looking for the last ingredients to a fairly epic sandwich I was making and replied with, “probably eating out of the same fridge that we are now. How wrong I was. We were at a pretty pivotal point, whether we realized it in that second or not. Graduation from community college was right around the corner for both of us, my twin coming out before me as she’d started classes through the summer and hung back until fall. The guess about where we’d be eating, it’s answer in short would be that soon my sister would be be leaving for New York with little more than pocket change and a suitcase of favorite outfits; she would find herself in precarious living circumstances there, then move to Colorado also with a pretty bare checking account. Day to day life was a victory and struggle and a testament of God’s provision. I’d stay home, and work at the local YMCA and marry a man that I met online directly after graduation then embark in a cross country drive leaving my family for 3 years. She came home to stay that year when I left and married someone local, living across the county (not the country) from where we grew up. She now has full enrollment at a self made in home daycare. I’ve come back from Vermont and live 3 miles from that fridge that we talked about our futures. Nearly 31 we still talk about that conversation and giggle a bit about how we can plan but it’s God who knows that full picture.Thankful time. What would you write down on a slip of paper if you had family tradition to reveal gratitude in that way? We don’t here as everyone has taken on their own path and have become caged and private in their own ways as the months and years have stacked up.
As for me. I’m thankful for life. I’m thankful that someone knows the path, and hope that I’ll keep praying and faithing until my heart stops beating. When I think about thankfulness I think about death. I want to be the first to die, selfishly. Some people plan who they want to be around them when they die, my thankfulness says that I just want God there–I’m all in on Him being in control. Is it weird to think about death on thanksgiving? Life and death are in the hand of the Lord, that’s pretty good assuming that he designed this whole maze which I trust in. Where there is trust there’s gratitude.
Romans 8: Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
2015 has had pain, but it’s had discovery as well and growth in so many ways. Bring good things, 2016, please. Answers are a life long discovery, I get that. And yes, back to the fridge. The one I have now…I want to replace it, but as for the address I share with my husband and children…I fully plan to thankful for it for many many more thanksgivings to come. My sister too. I know she loves her address. We’re good, bumps and bruises along the way, we’re good.