Less is More

2016-01-10 17.34.41That’s me, with the button down shirt without a jacket. I’m seriously needing to lose some weight and I only really think about it when I’m getting ready to go out. Home is my comfort zone and it’s beyond about time to commit to fit, not just for looks but for over all health. It’s absolutely one thing to say and another to do. Beginning step: I just cancelled my facebook account to cut back on the time that I spend sitting. The more I’m up and about the more I’ll get done.

I’m going to utilize Sparkpeople.com to help me keep track of myself.
My biggest enemy getting started right off is appetite. I don’t seem to have the discipline to have a no eat time cut off line that I can consistently hold to. Anyway, I need to get this done. Game on.

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Still Me

There’s one thing I can count on, be I 15 or 30…nothing will be quite as I plan.
Life is quiet until bam I say, plan or do something half off kilter. Yesterday I accepted an invite to stay at church for lunch, getting out of planned lunch at my house with my sister’s family using a lady from church’s cellphone because I’d left mine at the house. My little family (Darren, kids and I) got some lovely visiting in with church family then heading home saw my sister’s family heading back into town coming from the direction of our house. Writing this is even confusing!! They saw our van and turned around, following us home.
Telling the story if the confusion she acted as if I’d never called, whilest the timing of it all brought us to my house at the originally appointed time anyway. A new year doesn’t bring a new me. I’m still the one who can’t quite organize, but the flaw of my plot also isn’t entirely clear. Think that’s no big deal. True.
It’s just enough to send people home talking about me and not cause lasting damage. I’m a close cut flake out too–for two reasons, I work slowly and am absent minded. Example: my third child, sweet Willie, is VIP in his class this week. He told me Saturday night as I was doing baths that he had this. With two kids already through this piece of Kindergarten I know what it involves. However. being in the midst of suds up to my elbows in one bathroom and throwing towels at children coming out of the other the news completely entered one ear and slid right out the other. Usually I’d post a note of an important piece of my child’s life up on the wall, this didn’t happen.
My dear son mentioned it this morning like 30 minutes before I ought to have three kids out the door. I couldn’t find the photo that he really wanted and had to use his school photo instead and found one of him at Chuck E. Cheese which I wrote nothing about in the quick bit of information I scrawled out. Willie couldn’t find the toys he’d wanted to bring to share with friends so had to settle for something else. Since he’s VIP for a week I hope that tomorrow I can send a special snack and more pictures of whatever to flaunt that Willie is as treasured as any first child. He’s a gem that absolutely ought to be celebrated big and bright. I’m still me. Scheduling a play date for Deeder on a day that AJ already has an appointment 30 minutes away that I know about and while I was talking to the Mommy had in my mind that I had to avoid. However. I was remembering the wrong date as the one reserved for AJ. I’m too embarrassed of that mistake to the point that I’ll make it work somehow. As for messing up Cath’s life: I didn’t work as fast as I could have on a project for her teacher on my volunteer day, said I’d come back the next day to finish believing it was my husband’s day off thus he could watch AJ–forgetting that he had picked up the night shift and needed to sleep. I wrote in a cancelation promising to come in Monday morning. Monday morning is here. I woke up at 5:30 to clean up my mess from last night (Sunday when my sister and her family came over) thinking I’d be shining ready to leave early with the kids and finish up that job for Cath’s teacher while AJ was in her speech therapy at the school. Midst my tizzy to throw together Willie’s VIP paperwork I got a call from AJ’s therapist saying that she was too sick to come into school. Again an apology note goes out to Cath’s teacher.

I’m still me. Barely pulling the details together.

A new year doesn’t change who I am. At the end of my stay, success will be that I kept going and tied knots and sewed together the pieces of my children’s life quilts without missing too many important squares. I have a role that is needed and race against my own energy and mental wellness. I’m still me striving to be the best I can be, hoping that I don’t disappoint too many people between my waking and sleeping.

Who are you this year? I hope you’re not avoiding the escessence of yourself rather, striving to be a better person in the role that you’ve taken in every dimension that is involved in that title. I have a long way to go. I know I can’t take on anyone else’s story. I’m me and proud and thankful for what I have–until death there is room and chance for improvement.

At 15 I wasn’t learning how to drive as most kids are at that point in their life. I was preparing to take my community college entry tests in math and English which would give me the launch I needed from homeschool to higher education. The whole idea was really a little over reality because I could barely hang on to basic information at that time, going through tests to reach the right medications of my epilepsy. I made it though and at 16 started community college. I got a job that I’d work in the morning and go to school at night. Mid day was my time for homework–sometimes I’d walk miles for an interview that I needed and barely make my way back to school to turn in the completed project. Here I am years later hardly hanging on to the hems of reality. It works, and I’m thankful for the degree of success that I’ve had and comfort that I enjoy despite looking out on so much room for improvement. While I’m still me, I love that there’s a future to look forward to and room for ambition.

Go, life, go me. Thank you, everyone who helps keep this force going forward. With all my imperfections I don’t know how anything’s possible, but it comes together and I love that.

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Now That It’s Here

264942_10150688542940425_5036507_nI’m absolutely trigger happy to always say the right things–always to write what is true and keep just the best things priority and care for everyone including myself for the short and long run. This morning I was woken by kids wanting to snuggle in bed with me and read books we’d just fetched from the library. The day before that was pretty flawless, or able to be remembered that way anyway. Life with my four loud, ambitious, rambunctious children is an ongoing adventure…that if you’re paying only partially attention can be just hard to listen to. They can get carried away and talk over each other–interestingly, however, by the end of the day when it’s officially lights out and closing time they’re at peace with each other and accept I love yous and hugs.
Our world goes around and around, and this year is a building piece off 2015. Hopefully better, hopefully happier and more focused on our goals, our passions properly placed and our learning curve in a beautiful swing. I am a believer in the idea that New Years resolutions should be realistic. I think it’s totally realistic to try to occupy minds in books and outdoor play as much as we do video games! Or strive to thrive at subjects that we’re not getting financial reward over.
Now that it’s here. I am going to keep doing what’s worked in days past: making use of my energy, working out to build more physical energy and keeping close to Christ spiritually to keep that hype up. I need it. Also. Now that it’s here. I want to write every day. That’s awesome and I know from experience that no matter the flavor of my day, writing about it is communion with myself over how ready I am for the next.


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In A Couple Days

f3447e3f8a42ba4ea147093fe04d5f2eToday Willie got a haircut, tomorrow Deeder’ll get a bit spiffier as well–later in the afternoon it’ll be my turn to freshen up. The girls are sure they’re wanting to grow their hair and presently are staying firm to not wanting an appointment to go and polish up their look. On the appointment cards for tomorrow it reads, “Dec 30” that’s new years eve, the day before the end of a year that I hadn’t even quite gotten used to writing yet! 2016 is coming up in just a couple days. While I know I’ll be at the same tasks for a long time I want to be a better and a stronger person taking ownership and being relevant in each day in my goals long and short term, present for the people in my life…kind, gentle and fair.
In a couple days it’ll be 2016.

An always relevant goal. Stay emotionally and physically organized, I’ll keep on those, better and stronger…
2016. Wow! My Deeder’ll be 10 years old.

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Another Day

d6cf074f9bb31ed5a71b9b584d5b3b04Thursday actual snow flakes were coming down when we got to preschool to pick AJ up early from preschool to head out to a church member’s funeral. As ought to be expected in the pacific north west those flakes melted into a mushy sleet on the ground by the time we were finished with our half hour journey by which time AJ was sound asleep in the back seat of the car. On the drive Darren and I reminisced on the many destinations we’d had in that Buick Lesabre. He got it in ND with his great uncle and we used it all over Vermont and New York, and shipped it ahead of us to Washington where it’s been Darren’s work commute vehicle for when weather’s not suited for his motorcycle. We brought baby Diederick home in this car, baby Carly too. We’ve driven it to friends houses and fellowship meal gathers among groups who no longer see each other. It’s the car that I sunk down into with the devastating news that I’d lost a baby, the car that Darren drove me out to have icecream as a consolation treat. We’ve taken so many trips to our favorite breakfast place in VT and now sneak off to go on little adventures with all the kids in school this year now. HAH. I started this post off wanting to talk about new beginnings with my sweet little sister being engaged as of yesterday and I’m finding my fingers remembering yesterdays when I was her age.

What a whirlwind this year has been. Every day. My gorgeous baby sister is getting married. I remember her early days so clearly. We called her Rosey Toes. She was a bundle of smiles and sweet giggles. She’s remained that precious ray of sunshine through all stages of the families ups and downs. She is a steadfast piece of kindness to the point that I’d break in tears feeling incredibly vulnerable with her way of always having the right words to lift the world when it’s heavy. She’s not the unwanted advice giver, she’s the sweet word that comes along and reminds of Jesus’s love and brings well…comfort, to young and old alike. She’s a barista and probably as good as they get, delivering a happy smile and a kind word with all the coffees that she makes and serves up. Her boy friend comes along side her beautifully. I hope to get opportunity to get to know him better as the years go on, but know that he’s pretty lucky to have met such an amazing young woman. She’ll be the best of anything that she chooses to be.

Today was the Saturday that brings on the tone of the children’s winter break. They’ve gotten and set up Lego Dimensions. They of course had thought of sleeping in late on each and every morning now that they wont need to race the clock to get on the bus, of course that didn’t happen–they were up at 6. And for the youngest two, asleep at 7pm–I suppose it may take the whole break to get out of schedule?
Today I hated my need for nap (of course) as I’ve mentioned, I feel like such a baby needing to lay down, but my baby snuggles in with me and that makes crashing OK.

After the funeral we drove back home and to the kid’s school to watch the holiday program. Kindergarten through 2nd went at 1:15 and the 3rd through 5th grader’s program took stage later at 2:20. Since we have one in K, one in 2nd and one in 3rd we had to stay for both. Cath and Willie got to watch a movie and enjoy snacks with their age mates while we sat through the older group’s program. Darren went home to switch out the car for the van during the second performance, arriving back just in time to see the closing song. All our kids smiled, moved their mouths along with the lyrics and did all wiggling and jiggling that the other children did which is a win in our books.

Carly was a lovely mamas helper and even did a 30 minute exercise video with me after dinner tonight. Deeder and Carly did a pile of addition and subtraction cards, which fun to see their competitive spirit work for a good cause at least for a few minutes. We’re about ready to do showers now and get to sleep with church tomorrow morning.

The forecast says snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. For the kids sake, I hope the ground will freeze and that the snow will actually stick enough for them to step out there and gather a bit up in their hands to throw at each other for a little while.
Thinking snow always, and probably forever will, make me look up and remember my early parenting days in Vermont. For which I just search back years around 2007-ish, coming up with stuff like this. Good times. :)

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