33 years old.

February 9th, 2018

Happy birthday to me in 2 days. This year Darren and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage. My gosh. When I look in the mirror and smile, I see right there the person who was posting regularly here so many years back. I remember writing, “where will I be X years from now.” here I am, still typing and still alive very blessed in every aspect of life. Each day has been complete in it’s own way, some sad others brimming with joy. My youngest is 6 just a week after I’m 33. Her face is gorgeous, her spirit is so sweet and her laugh is priceless.

Darren works on my birthday as he did the year I wrote the post titled, My Nice Day
Life has kind of gone back to that place. I have my oldest home again full time with me, the difference is really great though. We’ve reached our goal of owning a home, and are not away from family anymore.

My goals are pretty much the same as ever. I want to be patient and kind, I want to keep fit and active, I always hope to pray and read my bible. Through the years I continue to remind myself that in order to care for my family and follow the appropriate paths in life I have to take care of myself as well. Stay happy so that I can bring everyone else up is really my number one.

Here’s to 33 years, and hopefully a few more.

Angel Tree 2017

January 1st, 2018

Made it. Yes!!!!

Angel Tree, 2018

December 4th, 2017

So it’s Angel Tree season. That thing where I pick a child to sponsor in an effort to raise 1K by New Years.

In years past I’d cry and pray, think of nothing other than how I could raise more money.
Last year the name of the fundraiser got changed to MACC, which stands for Miracle Adoption Christmas Campaign, or something like that.
In 2016 the little boy who is called Kolya on Reece’s Rainbow died. My heart was torn in a million pieces and came back together not the same. Instead of believing I could raise money and save lives I grew seeds of bitterness and suppression, which really works out for people around me since being mad, sad and disappointed is a lot quieter than what I was doing before.
It used to be that ornaments with the child’s face and country on them cost a donation of $25. Now they’re about 1/3 the size they were, aren’t sent out for anything below a $35 donation.

Perhaps it was the fundraisers change of name, the decreased quality in last years ornaments, jacked up prices or Kolya’s death that changed me, either way, I still signed up. This year for a beautiful little boy from Kolya’s country called Franklin. Today’s date is December 4th, and the only money in his “MACC” account is the cut of the $35 donation which comes to $27 for the child. Doesn’t seem fair. HOWEVER, from years of being a sponsor in this fundraiser I know that as the season closes, magically annonomous donors show up and fill the children’s accounts…kind of like Santa for the kids whose parents can’t afford to put gifts under the tree.

I’ll be thrilled when/if those donors fill Franklin’s proverbial stalking with whatever remains to be put in there to meet the 1K goal. Like the child who hears that Santa Clause isn’t real, I know that that money that I’d literally beg for truly isn’t going to bring this child home.

Boy am I ever glum tonight!! Perhaps it’s just more present issues, like that the trash didn’t get taken out and is entirely full…that the kitchen isn’t clean, lunches aren’t packed and maybe a bit of regret that I’m subbing for a week at the high school. At any rate, tomorrow will come and the day after that.

Nearly December

November 27th, 2017

Well October zoomed by! It’s December 27. This month I subbed a week at an elementary school and this Friday begin a week at the high school where I’ll work for a para educator who I haven’t met before. This month also begins my adventure of homeschooling Diederick. Busy times!

I hardly keep up with my housework, but not in the way I used to. How it is now is so much nicer than when the kids were younger. In those times I spent at least 80% of my time at home alone with the kids, broken apart only by Darren’s days off. I could easily go all day without speaking to another adult. Now that I’m hired to substitute teach I have such a nice variety of experience and scenery less mundanity in pace. So even though my house still cannot clean itself, with the children in school and myself away it doesn’t get quite as cluttered.

As for Diederick beginning homeschool. School has become so fast paced that he’s lagging behind. Darren and I decided that since we are able we ought to give him the opportunity through homeschool to slow down where he needs, and even move quicker in areas that he has built up a strong base understanding. Having schooled Carly at home last year for the 3rd grade we feel pretty well prepared to do 5th with Deeds. Hopefully that all comes together nicely. Today we did a lot of pretests and got to meet via phone his new online teacher who will be with us throughout the year, reachable to the phone, email and at the end of the year we’ll meet her at the annual school picnic. There’s also a special ed program which should help us make the accommodations in the state mandated academic testing that comes around in May.

That’s all for now, I guess. Obviously, the ambition of blogging every day of October is once again out the window. However, you know, just being here for 12 years in whatever level of participation I am is pretty neat.

One Click

November 10th, 2017


The fewest words can mean the most. The smallest searches can yield the most meaningful results.

Staying in pajamas rather than getting dressed first thing in the morning can change the whole outcome of a day.

Reading a scripture verse that means a lot to me rather than thirty minutes trying to find the meaning of Leviticus can be so different even though they both come from the Book Of Life.

These are the things I’m meditating upon this morning as I’ve missed days on the Blog Every Day of November challenge and flopped on my goal to fast 48 hours at 32.

All of these choices can be seen or of be any consequence to anyone aside from myself unless I let any go on without alteration for too long.

If I end this post right now it’ll just be the ramblings of someone who had too much soy this morning, to her non existent audience.

Know what? I’m going stop searching the stereotypes of tongue piercings, realizing it’d probably be a waste of $60 and make people think I’m an oral sex addict if I had it done.
I’m going to take a shower and put on a cute, bordering on sexy dress, smile at myself in the mirror.
I’m going to restart my fasting app. I’m going to read Isaiah 25:8. I’m going to clean the kitchen, put away laundry and vacuum. I’m going to make myself a cup of tea, and sit down and read a chapter of Leviticus. Once I finish that cup of tea, I’ll close my bible and think about what I’m going to make for dinner. It’ll be something my family will love, something also that I can resist eating because I’m going to make that 48hr fast happen. All of this will happen, without anyone seeing or wondering why.

One click, one moments choice to take the day in another direction can mean everything to me and nothing to anyone else. If I stay in my pajamas, leave my bible closed, everything may not happen. If I followed that path then I would deserve being asked what I’d done all day and it’d be a thing. What did I do?

Oh, I’m looking forward to the mail coming, because I ordered some adorable earrings. In one click, because ordering online is that easy. <3 And now, non existent audience, goodbye. I'll see you back here next time. Make good choices, live an orderly day. Make someone smile, keep your environment clean and just stay happy. There's no second chances at today, and tomorrow's a story that you'll get to write...have the courage to make tomorrow's story amazing...only you have the power to do so, noticed or not. [caption id="attachment_9587" align="aligncenter" width="441"] A yesterday, 2015.[/caption]