On this day that we mark 9 years

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Life gets so congested with the same things. The same arguments resurface and re-mend. The anniversaries approach and pass. The little girl who was my flower girl is a gorgeous 8th grader now and recently statused, “Never Regret Anything that Once Made You Smile” I’ve thought of asking her where it’s from, with each word beginning in caps perhaps its something from a song or poem. Wherever it’s from, pure brilliance.

I can close my eyes and peal back to pure elation. My heart can dance with glee.

Nine years the day before yesterday, baby!

Darren brought me a gorgeous collection of flowers from the shop where we ordered our flowers for the wedding those days and months ago. The smell of roses and lilies and tiny splashes of more subtle pieces bring me back in a smooth somber way giving me such a thankfulness for the journey that God has given us to take together. I am so well cared for and I know that my being here is appreciated.

We had planned with permission to go to Bellingham for a movie and meal. Two kids were to get off the school bus at my folks and we brought the other two over. Turned out to be too much for the babysitters! The job ended up falling on the guy who was 9 on the day we said, “I do.” He didn’t even try to sugar coat the experience saying, “Dad lost a whole day of work” of dad who was gone to a prayer meeting when we got back to pick the kids up for bedtime…at this point it is completely an accident on my part that the kids became primarily his responsibility–I don’t feel like apologizing since that wasn’t my fault. Ignore it happened? I have done him favors in the past–like rock him to sleep when he was an infant and care for him the first few years of his life. My mom suggested buying him a coffee, I imagine he’d consider accepting a whole month of my allowance more worthy a gift! My brother starts university this fall and should be in an apartment one would imagine.

My sweetie and I went to eat crepes and quiche, at 3 in the afternoon. Why not?! It was just wonderful. Fresh organic locally grown fruit overflowing from a whole wheat crepe with whip cream dollop on top and chocolate zig-zagged across that. <---The diet starts tomorrow!
We then went to a movie and strolled around downtown. We bought AJ a pair of little shoes since her boots are too small; we found them in a sweet children's clothing and toy store that we both imagined our children completely laying waste to, well at least we could see so vividly a jostle up of a few of the fancy displays being the fault of our fantastic four.

Feeling so blessed to spend time together we headed up to be greeted by my mom just dialing our number to wonder where we were and AJ screaming diaperless on the floor. My poor family! AJ is quite the case! She wasn't to bed until 11pm.

We're already planning for our 10th anniversary festivities and we love our kids but they're not coming along! We talked with the children in the morning about listening and being polite. They seemed to all think that they did well and completely viewed the day before as being a yesterday holding no consequences into the current time frame. Sometimes, that's how life is. It looks chaotic, but once you close your eyes and wake again there is nothing but room for another chance. Not because yesterday wasn't perfect but because today is fresh and new as it should be. I want to look forward, and love forward.

Passing a tattoo parlor, by the way, on our walk around town I was tempted to go in and be one of those idiots who gets an unplanned permanent marking to commemorate the day. I found this hilarious photo stream the next morning: Feel Better About Your Choices.

Terrific Tuesday?

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I wonder if I have a blog post what title before today? Because I’m real here, I have to admit to you really that I feel like skeletal remains when I’m here. I remember the room that I was in when I first wrote, the excitement now so stale yet so easily recaptured which is the beauty of knowing the placement of my fingers on these keys and knowing where the search bar is. I can recall the titles of my earliest entries, read their words and enter into that bit of my soul again. I hope you have that ability to capture your former you too. One of my favorite songs is in on Youtube to help tune my head in. It’s me. I’m 29 now. My wedding was coming up on nine years ago. Four spunky spirited kids have the last name that I share with my husband. These are lives that we’ve made together in private and share together in public, proud as punch when stranger recognize that Willie is such a shadow of my husband and that another one of our children is my mirror. The other two are, “50% you and 50% you” Every marriage should involve procreation. These blessings are the most powerful, incredible gifts that we could ever not deserve.

8pm. Bedtime was half an hour ago. Willie and Cath are sleeping, Deeder and AJ are on their way. I am the mama who goes through the bedtime routine and gives them that time to settle, the “You guys can talk, just keep it quiet”. I’ve put away the laundry that goes in their rooms and brushed their teeth after their last snack of the night. Two books have been read to the boys room and two to the girls room, we’ve said grace together and hugs and kisses have been given.

My youngest child is 27 months old which means she has a full mouth of teeth to brush, feeds herself the same snack that everyone else does and goes to the bathroom by herself. She’s been sleeping in a toddler bed since her birthday in February, she’s out of the onesie stage and now has a drawer full of undies of which she’s quite proud.

Sunday night I put 12 dreadlocks in. It’s what I need right now. Recently I noticed that my mane is far too ordinary. Life is too fleeting for blah hair. With time never taken anymore for blow drying and straightening blah is exactly what I’ve been inadvertently giving myself. I love that my hair’s finally past my shoulders and also really like the color that I had done a couple months back. This time I’m going to do what is called neglect dreads, rather than gridding my hair out into one inch sections and backcombing 81 1inch strands of hair only to take off the bands and have them unravel or be just held together by dreadlock wax. Neglect means really just letting the hair do it’s own thing–according to theory it should section out on it’s own and eventually dread up. I just have to be careful to use a residue free soap. My mom’s comment was, “Well you did always have to have something to look forward to.” Hum.

Well. It’s 11:30pm now. A.J is finally asleep. I have more laundry to fold, and another general mess sweep through to do before Darren’s home in half an hour. My looking forward to is actually a complete revolving around his leaving and coming home and how much I can do or fail to do in those hours.

Terrific Tuesday is followed by Wonderful Wednesday, my volunteer at the school day. This week I’ll be in Cath’s Kindergarten. Hope all your dreams came true today, phantom reader.

Shadow Play

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It’s great to be home my on my original blog where I have thousands of blog posts after having months of no access.

Oh darn…somehow I just lost three paragraphs that I just wrote.

So I guess the issue with the blog here on oraeley.com was an absence of an update which my bro was able to catch and put in.