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Life gets so congested with the same things. The same arguments resurface and re-mend. The anniversaries approach and pass. The little girl who was my flower girl is a gorgeous 8th grader now and recently statused, “Never Regret Anything that Once Made You Smile” I’ve thought of asking her where it’s from, with each word beginning in caps perhaps its something from a song or poem. Wherever it’s from, pure brilliance.
I can close my eyes and peal back to pure elation. My heart can dance with glee.
Nine years the day before yesterday, baby!
Darren brought me a gorgeous collection of flowers from the shop where we ordered our flowers for the wedding those days and months ago. The smell of roses and lilies and tiny splashes of more subtle pieces bring me back in a smooth somber way giving me such a thankfulness for the journey that God has given us to take together. I am so well cared for and I know that my being here is appreciated.
We had planned with permission to go to Bellingham for a movie and meal. Two kids were to get off the school bus at my folks and we brought the other two over. Turned out to be too much for the babysitters! The job ended up falling on the guy who was 9 on the day we said, “I do.” He didn’t even try to sugar coat the experience saying, “Dad lost a whole day of work” of dad who was gone to a prayer meeting when we got back to pick the kids up for bedtime…at this point it is completely an accident on my part that the kids became primarily his responsibility–I don’t feel like apologizing since that wasn’t my fault. Ignore it happened? I have done him favors in the past–like rock him to sleep when he was an infant and care for him the first few years of his life. My mom suggested buying him a coffee, I imagine he’d consider accepting a whole month of my allowance more worthy a gift! My brother starts university this fall and should be in an apartment one would imagine.
My sweetie and I went to eat crepes and quiche, at 3 in the afternoon. Why not?! It was just wonderful. Fresh organic locally grown fruit overflowing from a whole wheat crepe with whip cream dollop on top and chocolate zig-zagged across that. <---The diet starts tomorrow!
We then went to a movie and strolled around downtown. We bought AJ a pair of little shoes since her boots are too small; we found them in a sweet children's clothing and toy store that we both imagined our children completely laying waste to, well at least we could see so vividly a jostle up of a few of the fancy displays being the fault of our fantastic four.
Feeling so blessed to spend time together we headed up to be greeted by my mom just dialing our number to wonder where we were and AJ screaming diaperless on the floor. My poor family! AJ is quite the case! She wasn't to bed until 11pm.
We're already planning for our 10th anniversary festivities and we love our kids but they're not coming along! We talked with the children in the morning about listening and being polite. They seemed to all think that they did well and completely viewed the day before as being a yesterday holding no consequences into the current time frame. Sometimes, that's how life is. It looks chaotic, but once you close your eyes and wake again there is nothing but room for another chance. Not because yesterday wasn't perfect but because today is fresh and new as it should be. I want to look forward, and love forward.
Passing a tattoo parlor, by the way, on our walk around town I was tempted to go in and be one of those idiots who gets an unplanned permanent marking to commemorate the day. I found this hilarious photo stream the next morning: Feel Better About Your Choices.