Archive for the ‘Faith and Hope’ Category

Don’t Stop

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

I wrote a post September 3rd, 2005 that I’d like this to be a Part 2 for. My heart is broken, but not as broken as it could be, looking at that post because while it’s all true, I feel uncomfortable to one of the people who agreed with me is dead–his life was cut tragically short four years ago. Today I want to talk about how the same subject and how what I said then is timelessly the fact of today.
Calendar pages have flown by, I’ve had fears and buried them so many times, and guess what…I’m still going strong. My relationship with my husband is still alive, and I’m so ready to watch more calendar pages turn and more years to fold together continuing on our story.

When I got married, well, long before I got married or was ever loved by Darren, I wanted to be the Proverbs 31 woman. Over the years I’ve realized that I’m not to be excellent in the order of these verses, I’m to be what he wants me to be. I need to never change in a way that’s unpleasing to him, and if I can do that I can remain where I need to be. What I do want is for him to smile and laugh more, as he used to. I’ve become many things, as I always hoped to be, but second to a child of God I’m the wife of Darren and that’s what I always want to be. Wherever he is, I want to be, and while cliche, I’ll say it–He feels like home.

One of the reasons why I wanted to do a Part 2 of Take It Slow is that Darren turns 50 in two days. While some days have been hard, there have been more cheerful busy days that tears. He’s become such a wonderful father, which actually he was from Day One of our first child coming home from the hospital. He knows how blessed we are to have four gorgeous kids, the youngest of whom wasn’t even talking a couple years ago and is now learning to read.

Darren and I came together on social media before social media was a thing. It was a conversation after 1am in a yahoo chatroom that we first came into conversation, reading it we sound the same in humor as we would today. Of course I have to put a link in for that as well…First Chat.
And from the time that we decided to be a couple, every conversation involved at least a small segment of mutually expressed concern about our age difference. We both agreed that as we got older the age gap, interestingly though what happened is that life became so busy that age never had a chance to matter.

We also came together over religion. Without being part of the religious group we were in, we never would have met. When that small church unit crumbled I worried that my marriage would also fall away, thankfully though God had (and still does) His hand working in our relationship and we became even stronger than what had brought us together which is awesome. Our Christian belief system is still central to everything we do, while we’ll tell you we don’t operate perfectly, as nothing is possibly perfect on earth, there are quite particular things that we cling to: keeping the Lords Day holy, not celebrating Christmas, and singing only Psalms in church. I feel myself fading on the last of those three, but because it means so much to Darren, my mouth never opens in song to anything that isn’t a Psalm.

My husband is a nurse, and here and there I get to hear stories of how much he meant to people in his care. That makes me so proud and thankful that I was where I was at just the right time for us to become an us at all. The kids and I irritate him sometimes, ok, it feels like a lot lately, but at the heart of it, we just want to see him smile. As I’m thinking about Darren and all he means to me, I’ve again brought up Thirteen Things about Darren written in 2008.

For his 50th birthday he’d just like to spend the day with me. No one wants to watch the kids for long though, so it may be like many other years. Actually, before I complain about no one wanting to watch the kids, I had better confess that we’re both working on his actual birthday–I’m working from 7:30 til 2:30 at the high school, and he does night shift that day which means we’ll only see each other between 3 and 9pm, which is better than nothing but far from how things used to be.

33 years old.

Friday, February 9th, 2018

Happy birthday to me in 2 days. This year Darren and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage. My gosh. When I look in the mirror and smile, I see right there the person who was posting regularly here so many years back. I remember writing, “where will I be X years from now.” here I am, still typing and still alive very blessed in every aspect of life. Each day has been complete in it’s own way, some sad others brimming with joy. My youngest is 6 just a week after I’m 33. Her face is gorgeous, her spirit is so sweet and her laugh is priceless.

Darren works on my birthday as he did the year I wrote the post titled, My Nice Day
Life has kind of gone back to that place. I have my oldest home again full time with me, the difference is really great though. We’ve reached our goal of owning a home, and are not away from family anymore.

My goals are pretty much the same as ever. I want to be patient and kind, I want to keep fit and active, I always hope to pray and read my bible. Through the years I continue to remind myself that in order to care for my family and follow the appropriate paths in life I have to take care of myself as well. Stay happy so that I can bring everyone else up is really my number one.

Here’s to 33 years, and hopefully a few more.

Miracle Makers

Saturday, September 16th, 2017

It’s time for MACC (Miracles of Adoption Christmas Campaign) which was originally called Angel Tree when I started following it back in 2012.

The premise is that waiting children are sponsored over the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, ending new years day to bring individual attention to little in overseas orphanages who can easily become such an ambiguous cause if not talked about specifically. There is of course always much debate over if the young children in orphanages should even have photo listings before adoption commitment, some countries absolutely prohibit showing children’s photos which can make raising funds for their future adoptions quite a bit of a challenge.
Sponsoring a child comes in all forms with a universal goal among those who commit to sponsoring, which this year we’re calling being a “Miracle Maker”

The goal is to raise upwards from $1,000 for That Child. Two years in a row I sponsored a little boy named Kolya. The third year I intended to signed up for raising 1K, he’d died and his fund had been gifted to another boy with Down Syndrome waiting in the same country. My heart was torn into so many pieces and I really was brought to the brink of wondering if raising a thousand meant any more than donating a dollar to that child’s “future adoption” Kolya never knew anyone knew about him, it could be he wasn’t even able to see beyond his day to day minimal care or reason anything as there was nothing else to compare in his perceptions any other reality to that which he lived and died in.
While I cried over the loss of Kolya, I knew too that it was because of him that I needed to sponsor another child. Last year I picked a boy and girl sibling set. This year that set has been split up, I’ll apply to be Miracle Maker for the remaining child who has severe epilepsy and just really is not doing well.

When I say that there are many ways of being a sponor I mean this: Some warriors go all out, setting up an awareness fundraising table at the mall selling baby booties and washcloths to profit their MACC child to organizing a spaghetti feed while others get their church to pray and share on FB a few times. Online auctions is another way pull in a bit of money for building adoption funds.

The questions I get asked is, “If this is so great, why haven’t you adopted?!” Simple answer is that God’s plan doesn’t include that for me now, maybe ever, but He sure can use me to bring awareness to the need of orphans even aid in finding the perfect placement for a little one near to my heart.

Through all the changing tides that my life has taken, either written or not, adoption is one that I forever come back to here. My hands are always comfortable typing out words on this subject, I can have the balance of peace, plea, grief and sorrow safely and come out with a smile knowing that God sees all these little kids and takes care of them in his own timing and perfect plan.

I’ll announce shortly which child on Reece’s Rainbow I’ll be participating in the Miracle of Adoption Christmas Campaign (MACC) with.

Scarlet

Monday, May 1st, 2017

This little lady has epilepsy, well a brother too, but he’s been adopted and she’s left waiting for a family. While it seems so sad that Rhett’s been brought into a new home without his sister, I’m not sure if they were even together in the orphanage where they lived prior. Rhett, the older of the two in this Eastern Europeon sibling set is only 7 years old, Scarlet is 4 years old.

Scarlet is noted to have sever handicaps in her development and in addition to a non specified seizure disorder she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)

View her video here and her Reece’s Rainbow page, which updates according to any information that the orphanage may forward on to the adoption agency. Scarlet and Rhett’s page

Busy, at last!

Friday, April 28th, 2017

(Unable to insert any photos…maybe my blog needs an update)

Much of my life feels like chugging through stuff, same routine, mind mulling through different things while routine pretty much really is the same ebbing maybe with the kids stages of life. Currently we’re at ages 5 through 10, which is pretty big considering that in the fall I’ll have everyone in school for the first time–AJ in Kindergarten, Koen in 2nd, Carly (who has been homeschooling this year) in 4th, and Deeder in 5th grade. As for me, I’m subbing now in schools without our district which puts me so far in three elementary schools and the high school.

Learning to drive still remains a goal that I haven’t achieved. Last summer I got to drive quite a bit, but it wasn’t super residential roads much less the highway. Darren tells me that everyone gets in an accident, which I’m really not into considering I kinda have a lot at stake with my mama duties and all, the whole balance of risk and benefit really isn’t super in favor of driving.

I am ever thankful for Darren. He really keeps the boat of life afloat. Not only does he take the kids to their activities, he does the grocery shopping, works hard to supply us with everything we need, keeps us on track spiritually and is a true and faithful husband and friend to me. And life carries on, comfortable, blessed and with a future just full of growth and blessing.

I’m happy, health really could not ask for more.