Archive for the ‘A.J’ Category

Done with Summer School

Saturday, August 10th, 2013


Diederick finished up summer school on Thursday and today got his report card; really just a description of what he learned and recognition that he had been there all 18 days of class. It ran Monday through Thursday, 8:30am-11:30am. I find myself letting out a breath of relief seeing that according to school standards he’s finally ready for the 1st grade. The summer classes have been excellent for him, there were nine kids total rather than the 28 that he learned amongst during the past school year.

Day after Labor Day Carly will start school, riding the bus along side Diederick. This will be the first year that our school district has had five day a week full day Kindergarten. Koen will be in Preschool two afternoons out of the week. Abegayle will stay home to keep me company and be ready to see anyone off to the bus and be there for them to get off. She loves waving good bye and hello to the children, smiling as if the show is all about her.

My next post: Abegayle, the Ice Cream Addict. All babies are cute with icecream melt smeared across their face; this one is no exception. :)

Morning Snuggles

Tuesday, May 15th, 2012

When she first came home

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

We were given two photo albums by Darren’s co-workers and one of those Your Baby by the Month books that’s like a calander with cool little stickies (thanks, GrammaMomma!).

As I take pictures of my new little girl I try to make mental sticky notes on “This one’s a save” or “That one is a sure print out! I’ll never forget that one!” But before I know it they’re off the camera, never finding their way to that printing station at the drug store, much less into a photo frame on the wall. Someone want to help me with that project? It’s not for lack of caring, just for my ever present weakness–low attention span. It’ll happen, the particular favorites will get collected onto a CD and I’ll get them printed out.
Before that, I’ll clean the house, do the laundry, pick it all up again, vacuum over there again, clean this, sweep that up.
Then, I’ll stand up to admire that calendar, only to realize that I never peeled one cute little sticky off to track my baby’s milestones.
Why? Because I was too busy cleaning up after the milestones.

OK. Enough on that. Here are some sweet snaps, it’s my kids.
Diederick, Carly, Koen and Abegayle. Abbie’s nearly one month old in these pictures. You know who else is there? Someone in their hearts who gives them that love you see in their eyes.
I think that’s God’s love. These kids would give anything for each other. It’s magnificent to see them together, and just to be a part of it all.

Even if I’m in my pajamas all day.

Every day I take pictures of the four sitting together, I guess because I’m still waking up to this! God’s given me four kids. And you know what? They’re OK with it. They have a wonderful way of pointing things out, and overlooking other details that I’ve always considered embarrassing.

All in all, hopefully I’m a better person for whatever tricks they’re playing on me. Thanks, God, for giving me these babies!

I love this child.

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Giving birth is an incredible thing. So many mothers call it a surreal experience. That moment that comes after pain, a release comparable to nothing else you could imagine. It’s when this living screaming floppy warm thing flops out of there and placed on your deflated sensitive belly. Ew. But, entirely amazing. If you haven’t been there, just trust me on this. Or, if not me, well there must be someone else who has been in this vulnerable place of uncertainty that you know.

For me, after that moment I’ve heard someone’s voice say, “Honey open your eyes. Your baby is here. S/he is beautiful!” It’s a nurse, or the midwife, someone who thinks that baby who she has never met is sweet and well worth looking at, touching and holding. It’s this space in time that I’ve been anticipating; this loud first cry, the movement of life that’s been inside my uterus for nine months, now outside healthy and whole. I know that not all moms are blessed with this healthy end to pregnancy with prospects of a lifetime full of joy.

But, I haven’t been there for any of my four full term babies. If a good mother equals one with her eyes open the instant after delivery to caress her baby…that’s just not me. I melt in tears, allowing myself to give in to all that I was brave through, now that it’s done. I’ve always filled that pause with myself, letting the pros weigh measure and wrap what I made.

During the delivery I try to keep my eyes open, my jaw loose, hoping that will help me focus on the usefulness of the contraction rather than fight against the pain. (this makes sense only to women who have delivered?) With Abbie, as soon as my feet were put up into those stirrups and everyone quieted for me to pass thru that ring of fire, as so appropriately named as the physical sensation of this passage is comparable only to what I might imagine the buring of flesh might be. Just before the baby comes I entirely felt like nothing other than the need for a deep sleep. That voice I eluded to earlier said something she hasn’t before, “Just curl around your baby, push, push, she’s nearly here.” Curling sounded relaxing, and peaceful. Surreal, maybe.

My eyeslids felt heavy and everything relaxed through my whole body. That voice that tells me to open my eyes encouraged me to push, “Come on sweetie, it’s time to push that baby out. It’s time now.” My husband was there too, and my mom, and the doctor. Such high expectations. I knew that no matter what happened next, everyone would tell me that I’d done a good job. Or at least they always have before. Finally I felt it. And there she was–floppy, warm, and loud.

I love this child.

Of course I love her.

She’s mine. My Abegayle. Abbie.

“Open your eyes, Sweetie. She’s here. Open your eyes, Hon”

Instead I cried, I always cry. My so intentionally open eyes just couldn’t, I’d like to open them. Isn’t that what everyone does?

For me, the I Love This Child Magic happens when the people have gone. When the moon is up and my baby’s breath is the only thing that matters, right there against my cheek as her small body lays next to me tightly swaddled. She’s here, her hair is soft and her cheeks are warm. She’s mine and I am hers. We’re one, as we always have been. Wanting to see her I turn on the television that’s mounted on the wall across from the hospital bed. By it’s blue glow I look at the baby. Touch her hands, look at her tightly closed eyes and kiss her forhead. She’s here, I’ve waited a lifetime, and look forward to a lifetime of watching this child grow and one day have children too to love.

My first child, Diederick. My second, Little One. My third, Carly. My fourth, Koen, and now my little Abegayle Joy. Each child amazing. Fearfully and wonderfully made.

We’re home and doing very well. Still getting to know each other, after one week at Grandpa and Grandmas and now trying to keep flu-ish germs at bay.

Abegayle’s Here

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Abegayle Joy arrived on Saturday at 1:33pm. I started laboring at 11pm Friday night and went in what felt like 10 am in the morning. I didn’t take much opportunity to glance at the clock, actually I didn’t count contractions being a steady three minutes apart before getting in the car with Darren and my mom to head for the hospital. For me it was just a night full of getting up and breathing for contractions, then eventually I left my bedroom and settled in the recliner tired of getting up. At delivery room triage they told me I was 9cm. That’s good. An eternity later my baby came out. There are details, like extra pain and length of the delivery being due to the baby still needing to turn as she descended. I remember twice, three times, maybe more someone saying that the baby was coming now, him coming then my feeling nothing for minutes on end. He’d leave and then I’d start feeling like I really really needed to poop. And then he’d be there again. Eventually that baby did come out. Yes. And that’s what I have to say about that.

Also, hospital food doesn’t suck. It’s absolutely delicious.