Archive for January 17th, 2014

The Name Game & Privacy

Friday, January 17th, 2014

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My passion is my family, although sometimes I need a nudge to remind me to get back to the cook books and out of whatever else is capturing my fancy. Whatever it is that I’m doing, I find deep satisfaction in writing about it when it means the most to me. I appreciate your reading, and your making suggestions that will enrich not tear down what I’ve done. When my kids struggle I change their environment and whatever needs to be done to give them the opportunities that they need, attention is to detail and I am doing what I can.

Right now that means reaching out to the specialists that I can grab ahold of if the need so be. We do use the public school system and through that there are rich resource for discovering what can be done for this particular child’s needs. His struggle is NOT with my telling him to be smart. It is a disorder that is genetically passed down. Passed down from me. It’s no joke. I live with epilepsy and know the deep struggle that it is to keep up.

In many ways this disorder is what one might call an unseen disease. The child looks fit and healthy in any before school physical. Good heart rate, body weight, height. I went years and years with no medical diagnosis because of these glowing health results until a doctor noticed my eyes fluttering under his florescent office lights. So the saga began to find the proper medication to kick my neurological make up into shape.

How I cringe when I hear people say, “Well maybe it’s just a nervous tic.”

Don’t judge me on my choice to medicate my son. I’ve researched, reread and lived. I want what so many other parents do: A better life for their child that their parents did not get the chance to give them. D has the same medical diagnosis that I do. My parents didn’t get that label on me that I have on him at this early age, so while they saw the signs they were helpless to change anything medically for me. If you were to ask them if they would give Keppra to a 7-year-old, I’m not sure what they would say.
But for me, feeling out of control of my learning as a young child then grasping on afterward I want to give him the meds starting this young hoping that he will get that boost.

Parenting is a journey that requires a lot of research.
No child is the little perfect bean that you are imagining while they are in utero. Heck, they’re even better! Thing is, you have to ride with the bumps and there will be a few along the way. I absolutely promise you that.

All day I have thought about the suggestions that my posts may impact my children’s futures by way of my caring thoughts becoming an embarrassment that is written all over ning.com in permanent marker with a mere search of their name.

At a point I was thinking, “Well, I could Diederick “Deeds”, Carly “Cath”, Abegayle “AJ” and Koen “KoKo.”

Diederick’s nick name these days is often Deeds, Carly’s initials are CATH for Carly Annalise Taryn Harr, Koen’s nickname when he was young was KoKo, and Abegayle I do call A.J in photos or video titles in the past, so I could do that. It would be kind of fun.

But then, what’s the purpose again? People are bound to know they are who they are just because of knowing these children’s parents names.

If I called them those goofy obvious fake names like Nugget and Tootsie the joke would be on them even the worse. That might fit the writing style of quite a few well trafficked blogs, but I am not comfortable with it.

If I go by something realistic but not what I actually named my child, I’m just caging myself by someone else’s concern. The truth is that I’m going to keep writing funny things that they say and do, because that matters to me and other people who treasure them.
I am going to use the names that we named them, because their dad and I spent nine months choosing and loving those names. The truth is also that you do have a legitimate concern: I have to respect my child’s privacy. Just as I wont take a cell phone picture of their first bowel movement (or did I??) I shouldn’t write an in-depth medical review with their name attached.

AS A RESULT: I have concluded to use first initial rather than full name in posts that I speak of them in these specific concerns that I do believe appropriate and necessary to myself, to blog.

In October 2007 I wrote a post called I Take Pills about my journey without epilepsy. Click on that, if you so desire. I remember being pretty happy with it.

Another reason that I’m calling my kids their real names is that they will obviously call each other by those in videos which I plan to continue taking. Here’s one to show you what you would otherwise miss out on. By KoKo and Cath. ;)

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1Cr 13:11

I’m going to let them enjoy being kids, and I’m going to go on enjoying writing about them being kids. Because. I. Am. Never. Going. To. Get. A. Second. Chance.