Archive for September, 2014

This year’s raisers.

Tuesday, September 30th, 2014

Angel Tree, baby! And I’ve signed up. Please do too. There are so many children left needing warriors to sponsor and organize events for them. Here is a list of parties that I am hoping to work through, one already set with a date. Jamberry is happening October 17th!

Delivery room triage nurses always have quite the comments, or maybe it’s just that my senses all that I am conscious of are at their peek. Either way, I have extremely vivid memories of those moments when I first come in telling delivery staff that I’m ready to pop a baby into the world.

8 years ago I was told, “You hurt like hell now, but you’re going to forget it honey, if that weren’t true you wouldn’t be here for round 2 but you will be! If that we’re true no one would be here for round two. She laughed like that was the damn funniest thing she’d ever said.
I love delivery and learned that to be true hours later when my baby was in my arms.
It makes me feel super human. The pain is my gain, each fierce serge of pain getting lower and more consuming by the minute is getting me that much closer to meeting my new best friend and having the honor of being a part of one of those most amazing miracles that God ever thought to include in his incredible world. Four of my five babies have arrived perfectly, humbling me and just you have to experience to even comprehend what can’t be put into words. That nurse is right though, the pain is forgotten. For some more than others. I don’t like the process of recovering, I feel gross and wish everyone but my baby could just hush and not need me anymore for a while.

I’m getting carried away reminiscing. Today I’m talking about Angel Tree 2014.
Boring? No one attending my parties? Complete humiliation that will take me all year to overcome? Tears, tears and more crying when I don’t make my financial goal for someone I’m not even getting to adopt. All possible. That’s why I’m remembering that delightful nurse. She sent me home when I was seven cms dilated with advice to take a couple Advil and relax. My water promptly broke at home. Thank God we lived only five minutes from the hospital! My doctor had just left the hospital. I checked at 9 cms and had everyone yelling, “Don’t push!” for excruciating minutes on end. The doctor arrived just in time to say, “OK, go!” and catch the baby.

I like but do not follow the motto that says, “Not ready to adopt? Was ever a child asked if he was ready to be an orphan?” OK. That’s not exactly it. I feel that way about raising money during the annual challenge to raise $1,000 for an orphan. There are 200+ children who are to meet that goal, and as a year round advocate who prays and talks constantly about the plight of orphans overseas especially with special needs lacking home placements this really is the time to kick into high gear and do some concentrated work to boost funds.

Jamberry! Nails. Never worn them, but I know they are popular and got an offer for a sale from a mother so I know it’s something that I am meant to take advantage of. It will be a live party held online. That means people who have replied “Yes” to the invite will log in to the same Event page for half an hour to participate and take advantage of sales. I am so nervous! Will I be the only one who shows up?

I have an offer for a Trades of Hope party but did one last year with no sales so I hesitate on that one.

Damsels in Defense. No sales last year, but I will be doing it again and would like to become a vendor if I ever get to attend a training!

Pampered Chef. Yes! I know there is a good chance that Darren will make a few purchase. We own a can opener and a few other small kitchen items from them but not a whole lot yet. The thing is, it’s a popular fundraiser in the adoption world, so I do not expect much from my sweet friends in that world. Truthfully, I do want them putting money to their own adoptions. These women are my heroines who I lived through vicariously absolutely on a daily basis.

A lovely mama of two from the Yell Free Year Challenge page (Yes, there is such a thing!) on Facebook said that she would do a sale with Origami Owl, her home based jewelry business. I’m not familiar with that line, but am gushy with thankfulness for any all offers and plan to purchase from each and every!

We’ll be going door to door selling candles and pastries shortly. Only 15% of that will go towards our Angel Tree 2014 project, but both the children and I are completely stoked.

I am NOT crafty. I dream of it though and in my earlier days tried a few different things. This year I want to make Christmas ornaments with the children. It’s a great plan, but there has to be a reason that no one else is doing it. So far I’ve bought the plastic ornaments, three of them and modge podge. I have a couple other things to purchase before I start the project, as soon as I get one that looks right I’ll buy more balls and get the children involved if that still seems like a good idea.

AuroraWho are we raising money for? A twelve year old girl from Latv!a. She sounds a lot like little me, and has been in orphanage since about the same time I got married. She’s one of the only children on Angel Tree 2014 that does not have Down Syndrome. Signing up you list two other choices, in order mine were “Silvia” and “Fernando” If Aurora goes to My Family Found Me before December 31, 2014 I will be assigned to the one of these that does not have an Angel Tree Warrior, which right now is the sweet boy called Fernando…he’s been waiting so long for a family, and will hopefully get a warrior who can sky rocket his fund for that future couple to bring him home with.

The one last thing is a T-shirt. I REALLY want to do that. It’s quite popular now, so I am not sure how sales would go. It has to be gorgeous or not at all. We’ll keep imagining and keep drawing. Fundraising officially starts November 1st, so it would have to be finalized by then.

$35 spent by


Friday, September 26th, 2014

I am lonely for my zest for writing. What gave me excitement that I could put through my fingertips and feel purpose? What gave me passion and energy. I miss me.
I want to close my eyes, let my chin drop to my chest relax my muscles and let whatever is holding me fall away. Long ago my photos to capture precious passing moments have closed. The camera is lost. Shutter speed no longer matters.
AuroraI signed up for Angel Tree with Reece’s Rainbow again and have plans on a craft to make, and am nearly done collecting the supplies I need. There will be a Damsels in Defense fundraiser and hopefully a successful T-shirt design created and effectively marketed to collectively raise my financial goal. The little girl that I have signed up to sponsor is a 12 year old from Latvia who has been living in an orphanage since 2005. Her name is Aurora. Isn’t she beautiful? Last year God showed how he works by bringing my child of Angel Tree 2013 beyond the $1,000 goal and now home to a family. I’m hungry to see Jesus perform that miracle again.

I have my husband and loving children, a home, clothing, food, a Lord Jesus. What lack I? Faith? I dare you to say I don’t trust God for everything. He’s my redemption and my comfort, my sustenance through everything. I just wish I knew what it was that I’m struggling against.

On this day that we mark 9 years

Friday, September 12th, 2014



Life gets so congested with the same things. The same arguments resurface and re-mend. The anniversaries approach and pass. The little girl who was my flower girl is a gorgeous 8th grader now and recently statused, “Never Regret Anything that Once Made You Smile” I’ve thought of asking her where it’s from, with each word beginning in caps perhaps its something from a song or poem. Wherever it’s from, pure brilliance.

I can close my eyes and peal back to pure elation. My heart can dance with glee.

Nine years the day before yesterday, baby!

Darren brought me a gorgeous collection of flowers from the shop where we ordered our flowers for the wedding those days and months ago. The smell of roses and lilies and tiny splashes of more subtle pieces bring me back in a smooth somber way giving me such a thankfulness for the journey that God has given us to take together. I am so well cared for and I know that my being here is appreciated.

We had planned with permission to go to Bellingham for a movie and meal. Two kids were to get off the school bus at my folks and we brought the other two over. Turned out to be too much for the babysitters! The job ended up falling on the guy who was 9 on the day we said, “I do.” He didn’t even try to sugar coat the experience saying, “Dad lost a whole day of work” of dad who was gone to a prayer meeting when we got back to pick the kids up for bedtime…at this point it is completely an accident on my part that the kids became primarily his responsibility–I don’t feel like apologizing since that wasn’t my fault. Ignore it happened? I have done him favors in the past–like rock him to sleep when he was an infant and care for him the first few years of his life. My mom suggested buying him a coffee, I imagine he’d consider accepting a whole month of my allowance more worthy a gift! My brother starts university this fall and should be in an apartment one would imagine.

My sweetie and I went to eat crepes and quiche, at 3 in the afternoon. Why not?! It was just wonderful. Fresh organic locally grown fruit overflowing from a whole wheat crepe with whip cream dollop on top and chocolate zig-zagged across that. <---The diet starts tomorrow! We then went to a movie and strolled around downtown. We bought AJ a pair of little shoes since her boots are too small; we found them in a sweet children's clothing and toy store that we both imagined our children completely laying waste to, well at least we could see so vividly a jostle up of a few of the fancy displays being the fault of our fantastic four. Feeling so blessed to spend time together we headed up to be greeted by my mom just dialing our number to wonder where we were and AJ screaming diaperless on the floor. My poor family! AJ is quite the case! She wasn't to bed until 11pm. We're already planning for our 10th anniversary festivities and we love our kids but they're not coming along! We talked with the children in the morning about listening and being polite. They seemed to all think that they did well and completely viewed the day before as being a yesterday holding no consequences into the current time frame. Sometimes, that's how life is. It looks chaotic, but once you close your eyes and wake again there is nothing but room for another chance. Not because yesterday wasn't perfect but because today is fresh and new as it should be. I want to look forward, and love forward. Passing a tattoo parlor, by the way, on our walk around town I was tempted to go in and be one of those idiots who gets an unplanned permanent marking to commemorate the day. I found this hilarious photo stream the next morning: Feel Better About Your Choices.