Archive for February 15th, 2020

Be Your Own

Saturday, February 15th, 2020

Be Your Own Advocate

So here’s the thing.
When you’re having a lot of symptoms, and put together they sound a lot like a well known debilitating illness all you need is a test and a doctor to refer the test. Go take the test and the illness is confirm. OK. Then choices on treatment. Do your research. Make choices. Grieve.

However! What if the test shows that you’re OK?! Well hurray!!! Yes?!
That’s me. Actually, the reason I bought his $200 little laptop was to Chronicle how I am feeling and the process I’m going through to get better.

Sometimes the scariest part about looking for answers, the reason that people don’t do it, is because the number of questions there are out there in ratio to answers, the questions outweigh exponentially.

I don’t have Multiple Sclerosis or any sort of Tumor on my spine or in my brain. I just have to learn to be comfortable with my numb face and tendency to slur and forget words, as if I’ve misplaced them somewhere.

And what of the weakness in my hands, both right and left? No explanation. Seriously. I’m somehow faking it. I wonder why I’d do that. I thought my full goal has been to fit in and do everything that everyone else is able to do. Today I guess I’m just wondering that I’m to do next. It’s awesome that I don’t have a problem that’s going to hold me back, but how do I gather myself together and move on. Where do I put these symptoms? I don’t want to keep them, or to donate them, I just want them gone.