“I work alone”

There’ve been many times when I feel bad for not getting Deeder together with other children more often. It’s hard to arrange play dates, even with kids who have moms who stay home like do–people have lives and for one reason or another things rarely work. So I do my best to be Deeder’s friend, and Mommy too.

Just this past Wednesday I observed something about him that I never noticed. Or maybe it’s something new that he’s just found about himself.

Deeder likes to be alone.

We set out about 9:30am in search of NyQuil for Daddy who is sick for the millionth time. On our walk down to the drug store we passed the park, it was already swarming with kids…I can’t believe people are already up and out of the house at that hour! The weather forcast was saying a high of 86F, I guess everyone tuned in and was catching the morning moderate temps. Deeder twisted in his stroller seat and reached his arms out toward the park making that loud complaining sound and saying, “Up!” which means “Let me out now!” I promised that I’d let him out to play on our way back.

And so I did. After getting Daddy’s get well solution and stopping in at the bakery for some treats and an iced coffee we headed up our hill and went to the park. Deeder ran for the play equipment as soon as I let him out and set to climbing.

Shortly after we arrived I spotted our friends Asif and Asma from New Mom’s Network and told Deeder to go over and say hello. He did his best to make himself heavy and stiff and refused to be moved in their direction. Asma saw us too and waved. Asif is just one month younger than Deeder and has a similar temperment–quiet but really active, he also enjoys reading and playing blocks. We see them from time to time at the second hand store, the library and the co-op. Asma doesn’t get out to play dates much either because her English is a little poor and she feels uncomfortable with most people.

Since neither of us drive there isn’t much to do, that’s why we never really set anything up officially. They only live about a mile and a half away, so we really should see more of each other…but like I said before, there’s always something!

Anyway, so there we were…my kid refusing to go say hello. Asif on the otherhand was completely energetic about greeting this fellow small person and came right over. Deeder ran away, quickly climbing the stairs up on the closest climbing structure. There he stood half way to the slides, looking down at Asif, I guess waiting to see if this other little boy was as capable a climber. Asif was and in no time at all was up there, all smiles and right in Deeder’s face. Deeder stuck out his hands and pushed Asif away, “NO!” he shouted and headed up another flight of stairs and sat at the top of the slides.

How embarrassing!

Thankfully Asma didn’t notice, if she did she didn’t mention it.

She was all excited about how soon Carly is coming and had all kinds of questions about my plans and if I was nervous. I noticed that her English is much better than it was a few months ago and that she seems so much more comfortable with herself, very cool. She invited us over for lunch! Her way of introducing the idea was asking me if I like spicy food. I remembered my mom’s tamale pie and how everyone loved it except me who refused to even take a bite. By reports it was absolutely deliscious, but no matter how hard I wanted to like it I just couldn’t take a bite. Sorry, Mom. I don’t know why I thought of Tamale Pie, just a random flashback.

I don’t even know what country Asma is from so I really have no idea what she would be making. As far as I can remember Tamale Pie was a mexican dish and I feel pretty sure that’s not Asma’s background.

She mentioned a number of spices which I was totally unfamiliar with then she said that almost everything that they eat is served over rice. She was smiling as if she knew that we kind of had a 20 questions situation here–me blank and her full of all the answers. She finally told me that it was Cambodian Cuisine and that she was sure I would completely enjoy it. I said OK and she promised to call me soon with a date and time, I really hope she does because this sounds like fun!

At this point I glanced back at Deeder. He was still being rude to poor Asif. I told Asma that Deeder and I had better be going back to check on Darren. I rounded Deeder up, it took a little bit of effort to coaks him down but shortly I had him back in the stroller and we were off.

Deeder was asking for a “Dink” the whole half mile home, so as soon as I got him out I handed him the waterbottle and we sat on the step for a few minutes and hydrated before going inside.
Daddy was still in bed but looked much better than he had when we left. The poor guy was up all night coughing, he even had to go sleep in a different room so that I could get a little shut eye. I wish he’d take a day off to really focus on getting better. Instead he lives through the week then lays low on his weekly days off, either Wednesday or Friday. That hardly seems fair–a guy should be able to enjoy time with his fam.

Then Deeder and I had lunch. And of course after that had to go outside again.

We haven’t had rain in three days and with the heat the whole world around us has become dry and dusty, no sign of snow left at all. If it weren’t for the lack of leaves on the trees you’d think that spring had come and was turning into summer, that winter was months and months ago. Deeder is loving the expansion to his roaming grounds. Where before there was only a bit of parkinglot to march back and forth on, avoiding patches of ice and other dangers now there’s free running room. We’ve even brought out his tractor from indoors and he’s so enjoying that.

Around 4pm the secretary’s husband showed up with their 16 month old for a visit with Mama. They have a stay-at-home-dad situation going on. Mom leaves at 8 in the morning and often doesn’t get home until 6:30, I don’t think I could do that! Anyway, the dad set the kid down to play with Deeder. Again we played out the energetic kid and stand off-ish Deeder situation except this time it was more drama. The kid ran at Deeder and Deeder screamed, like loud freaked out scream…high pitched and everything. This little boy who was fast approaching Deeder was quite resemblant of a puppy who is full of energy and has a habit of jumping up on people. This he did, um, jumped up. And with such force that it knocked Deeder back a couple paces.

Deeder of course was unharmed but apparently quite offended. He hit, screamed then turned on the waterworks and ran to me clinging my legs and begging to be picked up. Both parents were embarrassed and surprised, in unison they yelled “NO!” at their little boy, this sent Deeder into further fits. Um, when did Deeder become such a…um, cry baby? Perhaps this can be traced back to the girl at the park last week?

Even after little 16 month old kid had left Deeder wouldn’t go out again.
He works alone.

I’m glad he’s enrolled in music class because there he has to do what the other kids are doing, and it’s so supervised that there isn’t any chance of him getting hurt which is what he seems to be fearing. In my opinion a child need to learn to work with their age mates, to cooperate and blend. He can do that, I know it. We’ll just have to work together on bringing it out.

As reward for getting through all those words, I’m giving you a couple videos from Wednesday. It was such a lovely afternoon, I took 80 pictures! :P A couple are being tossed into my Weekly Winners Week 13 folder, I’m so loving these bright sunny warm days. And I’m thrilled that my boy is an outdoors man–it brings back childhood memories of the hours my siblings and I spent outside.

Digging for possible buried treasure, or just for the sake of filling his fingernails with dirt? Maybe there really isn’t any point at all, other than enjoying the outdoors.

And just truckin’

3 Responses to ““I work alone””

  1. Marylin says:

    aww, Zack was the same for a while, now that he’s older he stops to say “Hi Guys!” to every child who passes him! >_<

    Marylin’s last blog post..I need some Ku inspiration!

  2. Gramma Momma says:

    Learning to interact with Carly, and learning to love her, will be a big help, too.
    I think I read somewhere that children Diederick’s age will, at best, play “alongside” someone else who is that age, not really “with” the other child, but become more sociable in the maturing process. As a baby, a person is totally “self” focused, aware only of their own needs. The circle of awareness gradually opens up. I hope I’m not just confusing the matter. :P
    Thanks for the cute videos, too. :)

    Gramma Momma’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen Photobucket Meme

  3. Kathie says:

    J really enjoys spending time with the little boy whose mom takes care of him during the week. But, they’ve seen each other 3-4 days/week since they were 3 and 8 months old, and also at church, so they’ve become almost like sibs. With the girls on our street who are close in age, he’s sometimes very shy, and other times can’t wait to play- and I’ve noticed that his attitude can change even within a few minutes.

    How lovely that Asma invited you for lunch! The food sounds delicious.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge