On Death and Dying

Ecclesiastes 2:16 “For there is no remembrance of the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now is in the days to come shall all be forgotten. And how dieth the wise man? as the fool.

One of my significant fears used to be that I’d struggle so hard to be a good person and even exceed what anyone thought possible of me only to be forgotten. However a switch has fully clicked in my mind that entirely takes the focus away from myself.

Indeed, my goal is to leave the mark here on earth after my death of having children who are serving a purpose glorifying to God. I want them to wake in the morning and lay to rest at night with a heavenly perspective and desire to lead others to follow Jesus Christ. I want my husband to move on and find even more happiness than what I’ve given him. I want him to smile, remember me no more and live and cherish someone after me.

There is a graveyard almost directly across the street from the chapel where Darren and I were married. I’d like to be buried there, removed enough from society that after awhile no one will remember to visit me. Not because I didn’t matter, but because I’ve instilled in them a confidence and zeal to serve in the capacity given them for a reason bigger than themselves.

James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

When we stand with Jesus and live our days knowing he has forgiven us of our sins, there is no doubt or burden. In religious circles there is a name for this understanding of scripture principle commonly called Saved By Grace Alone Through Christ Alone. Quite simply it means that we’re resting in an eternal promise that was sealed through the death and resurrection. For this reason, I need not cry for those who have died knowing the Lord as their savior. His grace is a gift to us that we could never earn and may never be lost.

I used to fear death, because after that point there are no retries. There is no hitting the backspace on being a pompous ass who spends her or his entire life busy denying the deity of Christ. There’s no seeing hell and begging the savior that you could return to earth to warn your friends and family that you’ve switched your perspective by seeing with your own eyes the reality of Heaven and Hell.

It could be that the reason Bible verses pop into my head is that I spent a whole childhood hearing scripture quoted. Parables told time and time again. Such as the story of the man who spends his whole life trying to obtain happiness and ease in the life beyond the grave relying on his own good deeds. When he breathes his last breath and stands before the Heavenly judgement seat he’s met with the answer of “Get thee behind me, for I have known you not.” This happens because the man forgot or denied the most important element of what secures peace after death: He forgot to rely on Christ as his haven from the hardships of life–he failed to surrender to the Lord in the way directed in Scripture. Salvation is free for the taking, the New Testament is full of this blessed promise.

The judgement that I one feared now hold me living each day. I no longer worry that I’m among those who will be outcast, far from it, I now look forward to and crave the day that I’ll meet my savior in the eternal rest he has prepared for me (John 14: 2-3).

Jhn 14:2-3 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

As much as I heard scripture quotes my entire childhood, I was also told well intentioned lies, or altered truth as we’ll say for today’s purposes. If my parents read this and deny what I’m saying, I’d remind them that this is life according to laura. I far from resent these misconstructions of fact, they actually saved me at the time. My parents, my dad especially, taught us that intentional self termination would give us a direct ride to eternal pain. It wasn’t enough to say some flash phrase like, “Suicide is a permanent fix for a temporary problem”

Ending my own life is an entire writing of it’s own, but this I do have to say: We need to want to be here not for fear, but because of the reason we’re here in the first place. The reason we’re here is that God has an individual mission for each of us. He guides and directs us, and it is for him to choose our time of death. He knows us before we even knew ourselves. Before even the beginning of time he knew each step, each breath, each choice and burden that we would experience. Is that comforting? I choose to consider it a comfort.

I choose to have one reason to look forward to tomorrow on earth. And in looking for one reason, I have so many more that build on that reason. When I take the covers off in the morning, I thank Him that I’m here still and that I can serve coffee to my husband when he wakes, make breakfast for my kids and kiss them as they leave for school. I also can find about a billion reason to want to see God as I consider that my last breath could be as shortly as after the moment I press the enter key to post this. I have lived well, loved well, and been given so much that I know now and forever will, that I do not deserve which makes me appreciate it even that much more.

On death and dying: You are my comfort, through Christ, you are my comfort. Death is merely a part of life. For me, on earth, death for those still here is going to be the point that they move on trusting too that God has a mission. When I die I’d like them to rejoice for me that I’m now with my Father living with no more pain, no more suffering…no more seizures and no more medication. My heart and my soul no longer will experience conflict.

Forget me, my loves, and live for my journey is done. My race is complete.

These are not words for today, but I’m admitting to anticipating the day that they’re mine to say. For today, I’m going to enjoy the sunshine and thank the Lord that I have today with the people and places he’s given me the pleasure of having and knowing so well.

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