Into the Darkness

Hi. So, I’ve been sick,

Like, my body’s been breaking. I go through times where I’m ok with that, and others that I just want to cry. Tomorrow is special though, because I’m getting an MRI of my brain and spine which will hopefully give some answers as to what exactly is making me feel so broken.

Yesterday I turned 35. It’s 2020, so I guess this is as good a time as any for a good dive into caring for my health and learning how to do a better job of managing my wellness.

A bit of what’s been happening:

On December 22nd 2019 I fell down in my upstairs hallway, tripping over absolutely nothing. I felt myself fall but not myself land on the floor, just a breeze pass over my face then the passing of time and my husband by my side lifting me to my bed. I felt very tired and sweaty and slept for hours, I think if he weren’t home I wont have gotten off the floor at all.

It was so strange that I insisted on seeing my neurologist. She scheduled an EEG and requested a blood draw to see how my anti epilepsy medications are working. My medication levels were too high, according to the blood draw, and the results of the EEG (electroencephalogram) were that I have continuous abnormal brain activity throughout the 45 minute, which absolutely shouldn’t happen since my medications have remained at the same levels for years without a problem.
Since this my face has gone numb. It began with an eye twitch then spread as a sensation of tingles through my right eyebrow and cheekbone then lip then through my chin, now complete numbness.
I’ve lost the ability to maintain firm grip without support, the prime example being my dogs retractable leash. I can’t grasp it any longer, it just falls away. What I do instead is have a leash that ties around my waist, which is awesome, because the dogs movement actually helps stabilize my now unreliable stride. It’s all quite interesting.

My neurologist urged me to think of any other odd things that have happened to me, and I do remember oddeties that I couldn’t make sense of at the time, and I am trying to pull together ideas of what could be happening. However, it’s tests like the EEG and MRI that really do the detective work and can provide me the diagnosis that I need to hit this.

Earlier I mentioned my medication levels.
After it was seen that my medication levels were at an irrational place, I was decreased on my prescription for that particular med and given two others, so I am still working through those side effects and figuring out what’s actually helpful and what I could do without.

So, according to the order for my brain MRI tomorrow, the doctor is looking for: MS/Tumor/Metastases/Meningioma/Infection/Abscess/Seizures
For my spine it says, “MS SCREENING/COMPRESSION FX”

Well. I know something’s wrong. I can no longer multi task at all. And if more than two people are talking to me at once I cannot form words to respond at all. I sound like I’m trying to speak around a mouth full of cotton. What’s happening to me?

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